You’d be surprised at how many people desire a happier life yet they’re not sure of what would exactly make them happy. Most people can tell you with ease and quickness what they don’t want. However, when you ask them what they do want, they have to put more thought into it.
The reason why it’s easier to know what you don’t want is because, for the most part, you have experienced what you don't want. When life challenges you, you remember the challenge. You also don’t want to experience that challenge again. For instance, if you’ve been broke, you don’t ever want to be broke once you're doing financially better. If you were working for an employer who treated you horrible, you’d definitely say I don’t want to work for XYZ company again.
When considering what might make you happy, you may have some things that you've experienced where you could say, “that’s what I want”. But for the most part, there’s a good chance that you have to think deeper about what could make you happy because you haven’t experienced many things that you feel have made you exuberant. And this is okay. Life does that to you.
True contentment and happiness is based in being specific about what you want. So, how can you begin to figure this out? Begin by writing out your "Happiness" Vision. Here are a few things to consider while doing this:
Consider Who You Are
Start with a list of all your qualities. Describe yourself as if someone who doesn’t know you is looking to know more about you.
When considering yourself, do not think about what others would think about your wants list. Once you start thinking about the approval and validation of what others would think, you’ve already lost your happiness.
Be truthful and honest. Do you really want to be a nurse or are you trying to maintain a family line of nurses for your Mother?
What are you in love with?
Accept nothing less than love. If it doesn’t give you love butterflies or make you feel alive, it’s probably just okay but most likely it won’t put you at your happiest.
What satiates your soul? What makes you feel valuable and like you’re giving life out to others? What makes you feel fulfilled?
Watch your life for a week and see what gives you that love feeling.
Once you have your ‘wants/happiness’ list, how can you have more of it?
How can you attract more of it in your life or be exposed to it more? How can you create a new direction in your life that will take you there?
Set goals and steps needed to get there. Take one step at a time.
You put time into the projects of your life. Put time into yourself as the most important project you’ll ever work on. This is the best way to love yourself and find your own path to happiness while doing it.
The number one reason why people don’t put time into themselves is because they feel they don’t have the time. I find that it’s more that they feel weird about spending so much time on themselves because women are more conditioned to spend their time on others. Helping others make women feel more important. But feeling needed sets up a false sense of value. To put time into yourself may not seem to hold much value because it’s hard to see your own worth. People invest in themselves when they realize their own self-worth. As a Christian, your value is in Christ. There should be no question there.
If you’re not there yet,
Pray and ask the Lord to reveal His value in your heart.
Understand that in Christ, it’s okay to put yourself first. He can use you more when you believe in yourself.