After the Lord delivered me through spiritual warfare and my life got back to normal all I wanted was peace. I wanted a drama-free life. However, my life became a bit spiritually stale for a few years. I totally stopped praying.
Prayer had become such a war for me that I didn’t feel like fighting. I shut it down. I felt like part of my peace was NOT to fight, no matter what type of fighting it was. However, I also feel the Lord understood and was patient with me. Meanwhile, I was still living off the wisdom that the Holy Spirit gave me through it all. I was also living off the Love that the Lord showed me and put in me through the ordeal. I still felt close to Him but I wanted to rest from all I had been through and avoiding prayer was one way to do that.
But after getting things back on track, sustaining my life, watching my boys become men and forming new relationships, the Lord moved me to a new location. When my new home was being built having just cement and wood, my Mom and I prayed in it. Once I moved in, the Lord began to speak to my heart and the pain that was still with me. It was almost like post traumatic stress; you don’t want to go to the same place of the battle because it haunts you, reliving it, and it speaks to your fears.
The Lord spoke to me saying, “I am the keeper of secrets, I am the Father of secrets”. The Lord showed me a white brick wall in which one brick, in the middle of the wall, was already removed. I had the feeling that peeking through that one hole, the Lord would show me what’s hidden like sin, evil, and wickedness but part of me didn’t want to see. The Lord said, “Bust through the wall with your back”.
The Lord was showing me my fears. I wasn't just avoiding prayer for the sake of peace but I was avoiding the Supernatural. I shut my spirit down supernaturally. I shut it off completely. My prayers in God were a force to be reckoned with. I knew that with all my heart. I am a spiritual weapon. We all are. You too! But I wanted to go back to a quiet and safe life. But the Lord was telling me that I could have peace and still fight. He wanted me to put my fight more in my Faith! In other words, don’t look at my prayers as the weapon that gets Him started but the outcry, in Faith, believing that He will fight for me.
He was telling me to bust through the wall with my back to stay open to His spiritual truths and His supernatural work for His purposes but also to ‘Get A Strong Back’ to face the world’s struggle head on because the world we live in will have darkness. And many times you won’t be able to avoid it.
Why am I telling you this? The Lord says that you will have troubles. (John 16:33) You may be going through something at this very moment. There may be something you’re praying for where you’re unsure where God is regarding it. You may have been praying for years or in warfare for a long period of time about something and you’re tired of warring, asking, crying, and begging. It may feel like torture. But the Lord is telling you to, “Bust through the wall with your back”! Have all the feelings you have but don’t give up. Keep praying! Let your peace be in your Faith believing that He is doing good things on your behalf.
Prayer feels like work when you don’t have a lot of Faith. Prayer feels like work when you’re not patient. Impatience can promote the lack of Faith. The more you believe and the more you have Faith, the less you will feel a struggle in your spirit and the more you will pray in Joy because you're moved on the breakthrough to come, not the problem.
In addition, let the Lord take you back to all the times He was with you. I can tell you many times the Lord was with me in times that weren’t easy but I came out good:
As an only child until I turned 7
Molested at the age of 4
Molested again at the age of 9
When I had to wear orthopedic shoes
Felt alone and awkward in school
Nights I’ve cried in bad relationships
When I had a child as a late teen
These are just a few of so many. What were the many times the Lord was with you at times that weren’t easy but you came out good? I want you to think about it and write a few down.
Best believe, you aren’t alone in this. If you think that there is anyone on this earth that doesn’t go through challenging times, just talk to someone. Everybody has a story of stories.
So straighten up your back! Get yourself together and put on your whole armor of God. Ephesians 6:10-18. Bust through the wall with your back Cindy! Keep moving forward! Train in the spirit, like a Boxer!
"The boxer must train his mind to be as tough as his body. An equally important aspect of the fight game is having the mental fortitude to succeed inside the ring. Regardless of your skill and physical condition, the time will come when you are tired inside the ring. You will be hurt or injured, yet forced to continue fighting. Boxing is not like other sports where you can look to the referee to call timeout. Instead, you must fight until the bell rings. You have the option to quit, but real fighters never will. Rather, real fighters fight regardless of the circumstances they face inside the ring." (The Mental Aspect of Boxing)
And while you’re praying in FAITH:
Live Anyway. Keep doing what you must do
Know that God is fighting for you in a world where darkness lives
Keep talking to Him
Don’t give up on God
Understand that God has supernatural leaders and workers, He has a heavenly government assigned to His people and to you
God will bring you out again as He did before. You’re going to be okay
Live and think like your breakthrough is tomorrow