One reason why I help women like you is to help you with real pain in your life that you may feel you haven’t been able to express as a Christian Woman. For many, when it comes to pain, we are instructed to give it over to Jesus from others. It's an appropriate thing to say but it doesn't dig deep and sometimes feel like someone is telling you to sweep it under the rug. I’m an advocate for women and men getting the help they need mentally and spiritually. Christians seem to have many avenues to get help but not really. Church can be hard to receive more individualistic transformation help.
I went through a time recently where an event that happened in my childhood began to bring up emotions that I never fully expressed. I was molested twice; touched inappropriately between ages 4 and 9. There are some things I don’t remember especially at the age of 4 but I remember that. I didn’t tell my parents about the first incident until I was an adult. However, the second incident I did tell my parents and they confronted the person and situation. However, no legal action was taking against that person.
I successfully moved on in my life. I became too busy and too ambitious to have time to think about it. I went to college, had two beautiful boys, and a good career and family life. I made a good life for myself and kids. Eventually my boys left the nest and I had a lot more time to myself. Then suddenly, I began to get angry and emotional with all the talk about Cosby. I was heavily and still am supportive of the victims. I can understand their pain. I can understand their anger.
I talked to my husband about this buried pain that was now tapping me on the shoulder. It was something I had to deal with and take to the Lord in a different way. I never had a problem telling people what happened but I didn’t deal with the pain like I should have. I think as Christians, we are indirectly taught to let it go and move on. This isn’t a bad thing but it can cause us to bury things. Moving on should be to push through the pain and heal.
Going to God
Many women that I speak to have in some way or form been sexually abused. I’ve talked to others who know of someone who has been sexually abused. According to RAINN.org, women and younger children are at higher risk. 1 out of 6 women and over 300,000 people a year are sexually abused just in the US. I say all this to say that this is major. Unfortunately, many perpetrator’s go unpunished. Many victims are afraid to speak up for different reasons. People are usually violated by people they know so that creates a complicated scenario with people you may care about or you think care about you. You also may be embarrassed or ashamed. You may not want to be blamed for what took place or worst yet, no one will believe you.
I took my buried pain to the Lord. The most important thing that the Holy Spirit whispered to me was to ‘Use my Voice’. I was to acknowledge the pain now by expressing myself more about it. My freedom was in my voice. My vindication was in my inspiration to not whisper about it but to declare sin out loud; say no to it and be a light against it. Here are more ways, the Lord had me to work through the pain.
I know this story seems to be about me but it’s really about your pain and taking you back to the beginning of this message. This below may not speak for everyone’s pain scenario but here are things provided to me by the Spirit that can help you as well:
1. Express the pain – Your Voice is Important
Pray about it
Talk about it
Write about it
2. Heal the pain – Let Love Win!
Take any bad behavior you adopted from the abuse and begin to transform the behavior
Acknowledge the Love around you and let people love you
Think of how you can let the pain transfer to loving yourself in the future
3. Seek Justice – You can risk your self love and value when you don't. Increase your value!
Tell authorities and see what you can do legally even if it seems it’s been a long time.
Help others get justice and express themselves
4. Lean on your support system – Create your safety net!
God of course
The trusted people and cheerleaders in your life
Join a relevant group
Here’s the thing. The Lord wants you to know that He will meet you at your pain and your disappointments. He will meet you where you feel alone and victimized. He will meet you where you feel a lack of love and invisible. Even if you can’t forget about things, you should still be free! Never underestimate your pain. If you’re wondering if it’s worth exploring, know that you are worth every minute of freedom in Christ.
Yes, God is good. We dance, shout, and tap our tambourines but while doing so, someone may be in pain. Let’s not ignore them but meet them where they hurt. Christians smile and encourage each other with good scriptures but give someone a hug, talk to them, and listen. The heart of Christ is at stake! Then when all is said and done tell them you love them.