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The devil doesn't want me to skate!

I remember an experience I had when I was a little girl. I think I was about 6 or 7 years of age. I grew up on a block that was full of kids. It was a lot of fun. We were always figuring out things to do and games to play. Well, one day, all the kids were riding up and down the street on bikes, skateboards, skates, etc… you name it. Well, I didn’t have a bike or skateboard, but I did have skates. But they weren’t normal skates. Back in the day, they had skates that were a one size fits all. They weren’t enclosed skates but open skates. You had to fit your shoe into them and strap them up. To get them to fit you, you had to adjust the bottom of the skate with a key.

The skates were big for me, so I needed to adjust them. But guess what? I couldn’t find the key. It was painful. All the kids were moving along without me and I was excited about joining them. I looked for that key everywhere. It was like time was moving fast because I felt by the time I find the key, everyone will be gone. It ached me so bad, I remember thinking to myself, “the devil doesn’t want me to skate”.

I’ve never forgotten that moment and I can’t even explain why. But it was a pivotal moment that stood out for me, even now, because that kind of thinking was already in me at that age. But why?

In my head, I already knew there was an enemy. I already knew that enemy enjoys messing up people’s lives. But more potently, deep down, part of me also felt guilty and worthy of the punishment. I knew about good and bad in the earth. I knew that I could be both and exposed to both. Also, the devil had some kind of power.

I remember Christians coming to our door with tracks. Those pamphlets that told you, you were going to hell if you didn’t get saved. They always had a story of someone who wasn’t saved in the hell fire. I specifically remember the orange and red fire on the pages. Tracks scared me. I also remember this guy who used to drive around our neighborhood in his van that carried a coffin on top. He would drive through our street speaking through his megaphone about the end times. He’d set up a screen and film on the corner of the block to scare people into getting saved.

As I grew up in the church, the message of fear and guilt became louder. Preachers preached often around themes of sin and its punishment, including the end times, which were coming soon even back then.

By the time, I was a young lady, I was already fearful, not just about devil/God things, but just about everything. Fear led my life for years. For a long time, I didn’t even realize that I was carrying it the way I was. But guess who revealed to me within the last few years, that fear, and guilt was weighing me down heavily? The Holy Spirit.

I was in prayer one day and this feeling kept hovering that I couldn’t put into words. It was like the Holy Spirit had separated guilt from me to let me feel it hitting me. That’s the best way to put it. It was letting me feel what it was like to live without it and it felt much better to me. And His Spirit spoke to my spirit saying, “just let it go”.

Have you ever felt guilty even though you know you’ve done nothing wrong? The lingering feeling of waiting for something to drop on you? The Holy Spirit said, “Why are you feeling guilty, when you’ve done no wrong and I’ve forgiven you?” I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t know. Then He revealed to me all that I’ve just told you.

There’s so much we can learn from this about how we teach children, how we’re taught, and being close to His Spirit to know the truth. But what I want to focus on here is more about fear and guilt. It is a big part of being a Christian and the Christian culture. Sermons are based in it. The church depends on it to some degree. Some keep you constantly focusing on sin and what you do that’s wrong. Are you a Christian out of guilt or a Christian out of love?

When we really do wrong, we know it. As Christians, we should go straight to God for strength and repentance. But the problem that I have is that we have and can focus so much on sin, that the devil gets more attention than God. Fear becomes our faith. We promote a culture of what we’re doing wrong verses what we’re doing good perpetuating a pattern of weakness in self-value and self-love, lack of confidence, lack of faith, and always thinking something bad is about to happen. That brings tears to my eyes because it’s so far from what God wants. It’s deception because it takes your God-power away from you, making you weak working against you like kryptonite.

How can God empower you living with fear and guilt? Why do you think the first thing that Jesus told people who met Him, “Your sins are forgiven”? You must understand how POWERFUL that is. It does a few things:

  1. It releases you from the power of fear and guilt

  2. Releasing you from fear and guilt releases you from the power of the devil

  3. It empowers you to move forward and start NEW

  4. It brings you PEACE

But you know this. It’s believing it that’s the problem. Why? Because of the culture. Because it’s embed in your upbringing. What’s familiar to you seems okay but just because it’s familiar doesn’t make it right. I know people who think that if a church isn’t talking about punishment and being judgmental enough, that church isn’t ‘real’. If they’re not feeling controlled, they’re uncomfortable.

When working with some of my clients, they don’t know what to do at times and feel weird moving forward without feeling like they are guilty of something. They’ve been told so long that they are wrong or bad in some form or fashion directly or indirectly, that they are afraid to even let it go.

Many women I work with want to be leaders. They want to be life-changers and fulfill their dreams, purposes, and prophecies. Yet, they are smothered. You get wrapped up in the culture, instead of Jesus Himself.

How can you be courageous? How can you be a miracle worker? How can you be a faith-walker?... When you still need spiritual healing?

God’s love doesn’t come with your culture. It doesn’t come with fear. It doesn’t come with guilt. God’s love comes with freedom in Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit’s power doesn’t work on fear and guilt. He works in love and faith.

These words I’m writing doesn’t give justice to what I’m feeling. So, I’ll say what the Holy Spirit wants you to know. His Power is so infinite and bright that any darkness has nothing on Him. His good is so great that evil can’t touch Him. His heart is so deep, that fear can’t touch His love. He’s telling me to tell you to focus on Him, put Him first. His name is LIGHT. There is so much more of Him than the devil, whom is already defeated. “There’s power in MY NAME”, say’s the Lord!

In Jesus name, I pray that fear and guilt of your present or past be exposed in the light of God; that it can’t be with you anymore, no matter how long it’s been with you. It is no longer normal or familiar for you any longer. You shall rise into your godly position, purpose and destiny that God has destined you. You shall be released from old beliefs and cultures that keep you bound. The Lord shall increase your faith and give you the gift of discernment. May you become courageous and carry the Power of Jesus to bring change and power to the lives of your family and God’s Children, in Jesus name. Amen.

Represent Jesus. Represent His Name. Represent His Power. Represent His Presence in the earth and in Heaven! Most of all, Represent His LOVE! Know the devil exists but fill every space with the love and forgiveness of Christ!

“Your sins are forgiven! Go in peace.”

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